A mom of 2

Nov 13, 2016 by Jessica

!!!!!!

I really have to start this post with “!” because oh my dear, I’m a mom of 2!! While being a mom is one of my dreams, at times I still can’t believe that I have 2 kids.

Truth is, I felt a little disconnected with my newborn in the first 2 weeks. Yes I nursed my baby and took care of her but with my toddler being around, I got distracted. Maybe due to the guilt I have for my toddler, I unconsciously pay more attention to him.

I know that things aren’t the same and I can’t give 100% attention to my baby. I can’t be in bed repeating nursing-napping all day. I have a toddler who demands “Mami Mami Mami”. There were times when I felt so grateful for my toddler’s entertaining chatter. Yet there were times when I wished I was alone – or just with my baby.

Such like now, my baby is asleep and Nathan is out and about with my visiting relatives. This kind of peace is one that I cherish until my cousins start sending me videos of Nathan. Then I start missing him… but I enjoy this quiet time and hope that they won’t come hope soon. Oh the dilemma!!

However when morning comes (after a hard time putting the toddler to sleep), I’m so grateful to have a bed full of love. Nathan on my right, Nadine on my left and Phodi who manages to snuggle on the tip of our bed. I love co-sleeping and I love having Nathan hijacking my pillow before he goes to bed. Although I appreciate the extra space when Nathan prefers to sleep with my mom. Haha.

I realize the the drama hasn’t started yet. When my mom goes back and Phodi’s away, my real life will start. Wish me luck and may God grant me more wisdom to be the best mom for my kids